Just Say Yes
One of the most puzzling plagues of this region, is how often you hear the word no. From the parents, from your friends, from corporations, from sponsors, and so forth.
The No Plague is a catchy one. It creates an intense domino effect that filters down through society.
Starting from the dinosaurs (our dads)
Definition: Old school men whose generation built the foundations of society. Their symptoms are usually:
- They have a routine they stick too
- Don’t try new foods
- Need to have their coffee at the same time every day, using the same cup
- Are generally scared of change, and enjoy a zone of security, safety, and consistency’
- Like right answers, so don’t give them anything but that
- Believe in the conventional
- Believe in the saying ‘if it aint broken don’t fix it’
- Tell us to follow rules
My First No
When I was 14 years old I wanted to create a student magazine, my middle school principal Mr Robert said no. I don’t remember the reason, I just remember the word No. When I went on to High School I asked Mr Baraka our high school principal, if I could create a bake sale with all proceedings going to Gaza. He said no as well. He said it was because I wasn’t part of the Student congress and in that case, he’ll pass thanks.
When I wanted to learn more about fashion I approached a friend’s mother who owned a string of high end boutiques and I asked her for some advice, she said, no too. I think she was worried ‘i might steal all her work secrets..’ at the mere shady age of 17.
When I wanted to go to art school, my dad said no. I should do banking. I remember all these moments so well. I remember the face expressions of the No Man. I also remember the woman who helped me battle ‘the plague of the No’. It was my moma.
She said I could study what I like, and that she had my back.
She said I could work in fashion, if that is what I wanted to do. She said if I really wanted to have that bake sale than we will figure out a way, she said that if I wanted to do anything. I could. She would fund it all. Emotionally and financially.Plenty of people thing Sketchbook was my first business venture. Nope, I failed about 30 times before then. I tried to sell vintage clothing, tried to be a fashion designer, a stylist, a photographer, a writer and nothing really clicked till I became an editor.
Today, for every 20 No that I get, I get one Yes. And I try to say Yes everyday, to an interview, to a project, to mentoring a student, to a trip. I battle the plague by saying it over and over again.
So the moral of my story is, it is easier for everyone to say No. It is also easy for them to list why you will fail, why things won’t work, why things don’t make sense, or tell you how things are right now, not how they should be.
But it is rare to find a mentor or a friend or a parent that says Yes. And follows it up with a list of why something could work. And then follows it up with support whether it be financial or emotional.
Once we allow the No plague to exist and we support it, we become part of the problem and we create a culture where before an idea blooms to fruition, we kill it. And over time people will quit trying to be innovative. And will eventually quit trying altogether. As it is so much easier to not try at all.
When is the last time you said Yes to something without second guessing, or supported a friend by saying they can do something they wanted to do. Do you feel you are part of the problem? If so, want to try to reverse it? What can we do to battle the No?
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Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
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